What can I say to do it justice? It doesn’t just have everything, it has THE BEST of everything. The best restaurants, chefs, shops, hotels and gambling. And it’s all neatly crammed within a 2 mile little strip of heaven.
I have been going to Vegas since I was a teenager and it continues to rank as one of my absolute favorite places on the face of the earth. And it just gets better with age. Yes, it can be cheesy but its cheesiness is GLORIOUS. Just the people watching alone is some of the best in the world. Every time I visit, it is a totally new adventure filled with gambling highs and lows, amazingly decadent meals, gorgeous hotel rooms and perfectly chilled mimosas by the glistening pool in the warm desert sun. Let’s just say, if you don’t “get” Vegas… you just haven’t done it right. So I’m here to help….
First off, always fly. It’s only a 4 hour drive from LA (not counting a Barstow In-N-Out stop) but it’s a LONG 4 hours. And it’s even longer coming back. Unless you need those 4 hours to count your loot.
STAY
The Cosmopolitan
The Cosmopolitan is hands down one of the best places to stay on the strip. It is smack in the middle of everything. The casino is gorgeous yet on the smaller size, making it feel charming and intimate. The restaurants are spectacular: Milos! Scarpetta! Jaleo! But the best thing about this hotel is the rooms with a view of the strip… and a balcony!!!!!
Sitting on your private balcony, in your plush bathrobe with a glass of champagne watching the Bellagio fountains is the definition of a perfect moment in life.
The Wynn
If you like a little more old school Vegas glitz and glam, the best of the best is The Wynn. No one does it better than Steve. Just entering the lobby is a dizzying display of color and flowers and sculptures and chandeliers and lights. There’s even a giant Popeye! Why? Who knows! Who cares! This is Steve’s playhouse and if he wants a giant Popeye in the lobby than, dammit, he’s gonna have one! I LOVE that!
But for reals, this place is so beautiful. Every corner of it is pretty. It’s large and yet it still feels warm and cozy. The casino is a perfect size and the dealers are awesome (yes, I have won there which is what makes the dealers awesome;). The pool is absolutely my favorite. There are about 7 pools and they are all connected by waterways making it feel huge. The service is amazing and, of course, the rooms… spectacular. They are perfectly plush in every way and here’s the view…
Drop the mike.
EAT
There’s too many. I can’t do it. How can I pick????! Ok, calm down, here are just a few favorites:
- Milos – the octopus salad is beyond
- L’atelier Joel Rubucheon – just stop talking and get the tasting menu. You’re welcome.
- Olives – eat pumpkin sage tortellis and watch the fountains dance.
- Beauty & Essex – two words: caviar taco.
- Sugarcane – get the smoked trout dip and goat cheese chorizo balls. Yeah, you heard me, I said goat cheese chorizo balls. That’s right.
- Lakeside – tasting menu. Bring a ring. I don’t care who you’re with, you’re proposing here.
- Scarpetta – tasting menu Italiano. Be prepared to override your maximum food intake level.
- Joes Crab – perfect spot to recharge with some stone crab claws between shops
- Spagos – go here for the smoked salmon pizza and because they shot one of the greatest scenes in movie history here: “Showgirls” when Gina Gershon and Elizabeth Berkeley drink champagne and discuss their love of Doggy Chow (truly one of my all time favorite movies. I’m not kidding. Not even a little)
PLAY
- Best Game: Craps – There is a new craze sweeping Vegas, it’s called gambling! Say what?!?! Ok, gaming is a big part of the trip and it comes with highs and lows. Barring the financial prospect of losing your child’s college fund, the BEST game to play is craps. It has the best odds and it is hands down the most fun. To people who don’t know how to play , craps can look intimidating. It’s NOT. Trust me. The key is to go up to a table and ask the stick man (the guy with the stick) to help you bet. You will learn in 5 minutes. AND it is my personal theory that the first time you learn craps, you ALWAYS win. And who doesn’t want to have their Demi Moore blowing on Redford’s dice moment? And lastly, to truly have the most fun in the casino, I HIGHLY recommend winning.
- Best other game: Pinball slot. Oooooo. I can barely talk about it without getting the fever and needing to jump on the I-15 north!!!!! Ok, yes, I understand, I am not a 76 year old woman with a Capri dangling from my lips wearing a slot glove and lanyard attatched to a machine. People think I’m crazy but I LOVE this machine and you can’t stop me. Just find one and play it. You must get lucky and get it to land on the pinball symbols and when it does… watch out!! You get 5 pinball bonus pulls and they all win! It is pure ecstasy when that pinball sign screeches to a halt on the line. Woohoo! Trust me. Try it. That’s an order.
- Best place to cocktail – this is my hidden gem: right off the lobby in the Wynn is a secret entrance to a bar overlooking the Lake of Dreams. Nobody knows about it and it is my FAVORITE spot to land in as soon as I arrive. You sit outside on a warm desert night, sip some wine and watch the awesome shows appear from the lake every half hour. And, yes, that picture below on the right is an enormous frog singing Garth Brooks. Ah, Vegas. Pure class.
- Best Show:
- Cirque du Soliel: This is a tie between Ka and O. O is a classic and the water stunts take it to the next level and Ka is absolutely exhilarating and intense from beginning to end. See them BOTH.
- Comedy: my 2 absolute favorites are Jerry Seinfeld and Dana Carvey. They NEVER disappoint. Absolute geniuses. And, if you get lucky, Dennis Miller is epic as well.
- Dumb Fun: I LOVE the Tournament of Kings at The Excalibur. It is pure ridiculous fun (food is not bad either, but how can it be when it’s served by wenches? I love wenches! I wanna be a wench when I grow up!) So pick a horse and a sweaty, hot knight to root for and “HAZZZAAAAA” your ass off.
- Best place to act like an a-hole: Madame Tussauds Wax Museum. Grab a cocktail and proceed to take hilarious pictures with everyone form Hugh Hefner to Oprah to Brad Pitt. If you’re lucky, you’ll come out it with a gem like this…
So enjoy your trip and good luck!
xoxo,
Alex
